Day 30 | OCTOBER 10, 2021
Good Evening Friends, today is day 30 of our new and amazing life!
Yes, one month anniversary of the event that changed the course of our lives.
I can’t even describe all the emotions that I have experienced in the last 30 days: fear, anger, disbelief, confusion, uncertainty, frustration, sadness , hope, comfort, humility, gratitude, strength and Love, can only start to describe how I really felt, and still feel to this day.
On this Sunday, I want to reflect back on the last 30 days, from the moment that Charlie called me as the accident had just happened to now, as I sit here in her ICU room and here is no beeping sounds, no nurses running to check on Charlie, the aura of fear is now replaced with the energy of hope.
I went from the lowest and darkest moment of my life 30 days ago, to a feeling of being grateful. Of course , our journey has just begun, but the last 30 days have been so intense, so raw and so real.
No one will ever be prepared to have the life you know be taken away in a second, the fear of losing your loved one, the mother of your children is beyond unbearable, I can’t even imagine the pain so many people go through when they lose the love of their lives, I am now aware that I could not handle such pain.
One of the most amazing experiences I can ever describe was the days after the accident, how quickly Charlie’s friends organized themselves to help us, we had a meal train, baby walkers, house cleaning , donations , go fund me page, all done within a week! I could not believe my eyes!
My initial reaction was of shame, I was ashamed to be receiving donations, the old proud me didn’t want any help, but I very quickly realized that I could not do it without help, and once I opened my heart to accept help, the burden became so much lighter. I will be forever thankful for the friends that came to our rescue, you all know who you are! Thank you!!
As the weeks started to pass, I found myself on a second Facebook group, now a public one , called Cheering on Charlie. Little did I know how much love we would receive from people from all over the country and the world!
The numbers keep on growing, it is just so humbling. You have helped me so much, your kindness and generous comments are so uplifting, please keep on commenting, I really do read every single one , and they do bring me joy and hope.
I also think about how quickly I adapt to my new schedule, I drive 145 miles daily to see Charlie , I spend on average 6 hours at the hospital daily, plus the 2:20h driving time for the round trip. So I am out of my home for 8:20h daily, I spent more time getting to and staying with Charlie than sleeping, this is what is necessary right now, but I do miss my time with our Boys, it is such difficult decision, do I spend more times with the boys of do I go and be with Charlie ?
For now, I am choosing Charlie because she needs me, she only has me ,and I am forever thankful to my mother for taking care of my sons for the first 25 days since the accident, and to our friends for helping with Play dates, and now my sister and her fiancé are also helping , thank you!
Charlie's medical progress in these 30 days is nothing short of impressive and her survival is a miracle. Thank you God and Nurses and Doctors, their dedication to her care has been admirable. Thank you!
I am also amazed by the amount of conversations I have had with Charlie. What amazes me is the fact that she has no voice, so all that she tells me is by me reading her lips! Boy that is a lot of lip reading:) I am counting the days to hear your voice once again.
As you can see, I am very thankful for the unbelievable love, support and generosity towards my family. Today’s visit was a good one, not as active as yesterday, but still a visit where Charlie is stable and alive
She was very tired today, I guess our busy day yesterday was enough to make her tired . We had a brief interaction as she was in her recliner, but Charlie asked to return to her bed after 45 minutes. I was able to convince her to watch some tv and stay a little longer, since they want her to stay at least 2 hours in the chair. So after 2 hours she was back at her bed .
Today’s visit was sweet, she asked me to caress her head while she fell asleep, sometimes the smallest gestures of affection are the most meaningful ones .
We also talked with her surgeon and he officially announced to Charlie that he would be shaving her hair on October 19, the day of her first CEA application. Charlie just looked at him and said ok, as long my hair grows back , he said it will.
I ask for you to continue to pray for Charlie as this new phase that will start on the 19th, is very important and also with a higher risk of infection. She will endure surgery number 20 this coming Tuesday and 21 on Friday.
Tonight, I ask you to give a hug and kisses to your loved ones, tell them how much you love and how much you appreciate them.
I really hope you continue to pray for Charlie until the day she will come home.
May God Bless You .