Day 61 | NOVEMBER 10, 2021
Good Evening Friends, today is day 61!
Yes, two months have passed since our lives changed forever! Still an amazing and new life!
Today was a difficult day, early this morning I was anxious to get an update on how Charlie did overnight, and when I spoke with her nurse at 8:20a, she shared some good news, Charlie remained stable overnight , her oxygen saturation remained at 100% on the ventilator, they did a chest X-ray this morning and her lungs looked better than yesterday, and the fluid in her left lung has diminished overnight, so there is no need to drain her lung, and the most important update is that Friday surgery for the CEA is on ! Thank you God!
Thank you for your powerful prayers! This quick bounce back is further proof of God’s work in Charlie’s recovery and for that I am grateful!
Besides this great news, I am a little sad today, because the downsizing of her tracheae collar will not happen this Friday as planned , and this really brings me down, because we waited so long for that moment, I had to fight hard for it to happen, and yesterday incident at the OR is exactly what her doctor told me he needed the size 8 in case of that happening!
Now , only God knows when he will downsize size, so she will no longer be talking by next week, she won’t be able to drink water next week, and she won’t be able to eat food by Thanksgiving! That makes me sad, and I have tried to find a logical positive aspect for this setback, but I can’t find one. We will have to wait another 3 weeks before her doctor can revisit the possibility of downsizing. The only consolation I have is to fully trust God at this moment, and let him comfort me , because I can’t find any other way.
I remain grateful and I have successfully kept fear out of my mind and heart last night. I am so grateful for that, your kind and encouraging words meant a lot to me , thank you!
As I felt a little sadness today, I couldn’t help but think about how simple life was before the accident, as I drove to Richmond today , I saw this beautiful day, I saw families playing outside, I saw kids on the playground, I just could not help, but remember how our days were before this day 2 months ago, for the first time I wished I could turn the clock back, I tried to live my life without regrets, but today I did had regrets about how I spend my time with my family, how on days like these I would chose to work until 7pm , while Charlie and the boys were outside playing, I am so sorry for not joining them on those occasions, It really hurts me to think about how much time I missed with Charlie and the boys , even though I work from home and we had our meals together daily, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I still have the regret of not being out there for every play date ! Gosh how simple life was!
Now, I know that in our new life, I am going to prioritize every single minute of my time, to be with Charlie and the Boys, And as a family we will work in giving back , our time will be so much more meaningful, We have been this second chance by God and I will not make the same mistakes and for that I am forever grateful!
As I sit here back in the ICU with the ventilator ( not sure why, I really dislike this machine) , and the beeping noises that we had left behind over a month ago, and now they are back! I did not foresee being back on this setting once again, but here I am, I accept this step back, and I remain humble, and obedient to God’s desires, he brought us here and I can’t complain.
May God Bless You.