Day 49 | OCTOBER 29, 2021

Good Evening friends, today is day 49 of our new and amazing life.

Today was a good day.

Before I start today’s journal, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you that commented and expressed your support and your concern about me, I really appreciate it, I also want to further explain the purpose of my journals, initially they were a form of daily update on Charlie’s condition to close family members and friends, and now it has evolved into a X-ray view of my mind and experiences as a caregiver/advocate in addition to the update about Charlie’s condition.

I am beyond humbled and somewhat in disbelief that thousands of people do wait to go to bed until I post my journal, it is so encouraging to see the hundreds of comments and trust me I do read every single one and your words are so powerful, please keep it up, I feed on your kind comments.

As you read my daily entries, please know that I am choosing to be vulnerable and open about my feelings for two reasons, one I really hope that anyone reading it, can be inspired or validated on how they feel in face of crises or trials, I want to let everyone know that is ok to be sad, but is also important to find the light out of the darkness, but in order to have light, darkness must exist.

My Journals are raw and real, I write what is inside of me, sometimes it may not be happy or positive, but it doesn’t not mean that I am losing hope or faith, it is quite the opposite, this journey is long and hard, I will go up and down, and the journal is therapeutic for me, and I have the privilege of your audience, I never intended to write, I am not good at, but I do write from the heart and I am so grateful for you.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie.

Today Charlie went back to the OR, I have lost count of how many surgeries, I know it is under 30.

Today surgery was more like a maintenance trip, they refreshed the allografts that needed to be replaced, they did a visual inspection of her CEA and still looking great

They also redid her blood culture, to reconfirm her blood infection, besides that everything is looking good as usual, Charlie had no fever today and that is great! Considering that she is fighting 2 infections.

When I arrived at the hospital Charlie was awake and in great spirits, she said that she did not feel much pain after her surgery and that clearly reflected on her spirits.

We talked about the boys as usual, we discussed a lot about our business , we talked about the upcoming parents teacher meeting for London school, just a very good day for normal talking.

We also watched 3 episodes of You and it is always wonderful to have a movie (series) night with Charlie, it brings that level of normalcy so desired by me.

You may be wondering, what happened to my fear and sadness?

Well, it is still here, but when I am with Charlie there is no room for anything negative, she has enough on her mind and my job as her only visitor and caregiver/ advocate is to make sure she is entertained and to be a positive influence.

What I did last night that helped me a lot was I prayed, I prayed the rosary and I meditate on the Luminous mysteries, for our non catholic friends , the rosary is a method of praying using beads, like a chain of roses, it is a prayer but also is a meditation, it really helps me to calm myself and gives me hope and strength.

So, today I am still concerned, but much more confident in the healing of Charlie’s infection by the power of God.

Today was a very good day with the love of my life and I am very appreciative of it.

For the new friends, please take a moment and visit our go fund campaign. We still need a lot of your help to reach our goal.

May God Bless You !

André