Day 40 | OCTOBER 20, 2021
Good Evening friends today is day 40 of our new and amazing life!
Today was a good day!
I arrived at the hospital today around 2:30pm and Charlie was awake and was very excited to see me
We talked about how the speech therapist suggested that I bring her a tablet with a larger screen, so they can download some communication apps to help her maybe in typing in messages, since she is doing very well with her hand movements
We also talked about the books she would like to listen , now that she does not have surgery for almost 3 weeks, she has time to rest and also need to entertain herself, since they did the CEA on her right side , she is now laying turned to her left, which in her room is away from her TV, so one more reason why the tablet will help her, she also asked me for a speaker , since the oxygen moisturizer the hospital uses is so loud !!
I did stop by Best Buy on my way back from the hospital and grabbed those items, and they were out of iPads, so I went into the Apple Store and they asked me if I had a shopping appointment? I was like no, but here is the reason why I am here, they let me buy what I needed and I really appreciate their kindness, thank you Apple Store employee:)
Today's visit was a very emotional one, after we picked 5 books for Charlie to listen to , the titles are: Where the Crawdads Sing, The project Hail Mary , Spilled Milk , The Giver of Stars.
She is excited to keep her mind busy, today was the first time. I really felt that Charlie is fully aware of the length of her stay at the hospital, if all goes well she should be out of there in around 90 days! I know it is a long time , but at least now we know more or less how much longer she has to endure the ICU stay.
After the 90 days there will be rehab, again we don’t know for how long, but it will be so different, her day to day, I am now dreaming of her discharge day into rehab
Here is the emotional part, Charlie started to fall asleep and as usual as I was caressing her forehead and hair as she fell asleep, but this time , she opened her eyes and looked very deep into my eyes, We were so very close to each other that I can see her pupils and her beautiful sunburst blue eyes looking into my soul, she says I love you , and I say I love you more , at that moment tears filled her eyes, and she tells me that she is scared , and I also fill my eyes with tears, she goes on to tell me that she is scared, I ask her why? She tells me that she is scared on how I am going to look at her, she is scared that I won’t love her anymore, I looked into her eyes and into her soul and I said, Charlie don’t think even for a second that I would stop loving you , I love you more now than I ever imagined possible, you are the definition of Beautiful!
Your soul is beautiful, you are the most beautiful woman in my eyes and nothing will change that! This tragedy has united our souls forever, I don’t ever want you to feel insecure or scared, I will always be by your side, we will be together into eternity.
This was the first time she expressed such feelings and I am hoping that I can make her feel secure and sure of our love , because it hurts to know that she is scared. She seemed to calm down and stopped crying and went back to sleep.
This is one uncharted territory that we have not experienced yet, her mind… I am genuinely scared but yet hopeful that I can provide her comfort with my love, but I do wonder what is on her mind but until she can fully speak, she won’t be able to really express and articulate her feelings and thoughts. I pray that God and the holy spirit can comfort her and give her the peace and confidence she will need to recover.
Tomorrow is the first day they will change her dressings and air dry the Epicel, they plan to do it in the afternoon, so I will visit her in the morning instead, since I can’t be there for her air drying time.
I am very grateful for this new chapter, and thankful for your continued love and support!
We have a lot of new members in the group, I would like to welcome you and thank you for joining Charlie’s Journey.
May God Bless You!