Day 18 | SEPTEMBER 28, 2021
Good evening Friends, Day 18 of our new life .
Today was a good day!
Charlie underwent her 14th surgery, they worked on her legs and feet , the most severely burned parts of her body. They replaced the allografts, did some wound care and tomorrow they will do the same on another part of her body.
Charlie was able to remain stable during the surgery, she is maintaining her blood pressure and heart rate on her own, which is so important for her recovery.
The doctors remain pleased with her healing process. I know these medical updates are not very exciting but trust me , we like being bored at this stage .
I would like to offer some clarification, Charlie is ON pain medication , she is just taking a very low dosage, today they actually are changing her pain meds to non narcotics options, since her tolerance is so high. Charlie can ask for more pain meds at any time, she just chooses to not ask for more , but she is receiving pain meds. I want to make sure we are clear about that.
Today I started to write this update from her room, as I sit here in the ICU room and I look at my wife laying in her hospital bed, so many feelings and thoughts run thru my head, but one feeling that has never crossed my mind is the feeling of pity, I look at Charlie and I feel strength, just her laying there brings me comfort. The sounds of the ICU are very bothersome, non stop alarms and bips ,a white noise that really induces one to sleep, It is almost like I am in a dreamy stage. Hard to explain in words .
It is still a little surreal that this is our new life as I seat by her bedside at the ICU, I could never imagine that we would be the ones here , but as much as I am in shock, I am able to remain calm and accept my new reality and I can only credit to my faith in God. This passage brings me some comfort at this time:
1 Peter 5:10 – after we have suffered, the God of all grace will restore, establish and strengthen us. God promises us that our suffering will ultimately be followed by glory.
The way I personally interpreted this passage is , after all this suffering, God will show us the light! There is no other explanation why something so horrific would happen to such a good person.
As I look back on the last 2 weeks or so, it is just incredible how much progress we have made in terms of Charlie’s recovery, but in the same breath as I think about the future, it feels like it is going to take forever to bring her home!
As I tiptoe about our near future, the end of this year, my heart aches in pain with the idea of my wife missing our boy's birthdays. They were both born in December, 17 and 19 to be exact, Christmas quickly became our favorite holiday and December a month for celebration. Just the idea of Charlie being at this hospital during those festivities, literally breaks my heart into pieces. I don’t have any way to comfort her or myself or the kids about this heartache, this is the really dark side of my feelings, the suffering Charlie will go through when those dates arrive. Christmas at our house consisted of us going to midnight mass on the 24th of December, and a Feast day on the 25th with gifts and incredible food. This year I have no idea what is going to be. It makes me cry to think about her missing special moments like this .
Yesterday I asked her doctor if we could arrange a visit with the boys. He said it would be a while before it would be possible, he said that his main concern is infection, but also the possibility of a psychological trauma on the kids, he said the ICU setting can be very traumatic for a child . So as much as I hate to hear that , I have to agree, we may have to wait a few months until she is out of the ICU. For now we have the videos and pictures.
I would love to give a huge thank you to Great Harvest Charlottesville, they prepared two amazing boxes of all kinds of treats, cookies, Breads, tarts, all delicious!
The Burn Unit nurses are in heaven right now !
One day at a time , It is probably the hardest strategy to follow, it helps at times but also can be hard.
God, please give me the strength and patience required for this new life .
I remain humble by your love and support and generosity, I have no words to properly thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to be here for my family, your comments, love and support is just incredible and does help me .
May God Bless you always!