Day 143 | JANUARY 31, 2022
Good Evening Friends, today is day 143 of our new and amazing life.
Today was a difficult day but yet a good one.
I finally got a good night of sleep last night and I was ready for a fantastic day, but early on I started to see that we may have some challenges ahead .
The first not so good news came from our rehabilitation, I am not to get into many details, but all I will say is, it may be a long time until Charlie can hold her babies , I am beyond heart broken if this truly will be the case, this was a very hard one to deal with, I am really struggling with the powerless feeling that I had on the beginning of this journey and now it is back on this particular issue and I have to say it is so awful to feel powerless.
I also had to make a call to our attorneys and agree on a very hard decision that was not in our best favor , again that feeling of lacking control .
Once I arrived at the hospital, I was told that Charlie was in a lot of pain today, and when I entered her room, there she was very very sleepy ( a way that Charlie’s body copes with pain is by sleeping) , I had brought her one of her favorite Starbucks drinks, and that was not enough to spark her interest, so I told her that all is well at home and with the boys, I told her to continue to sleep and I would be seated across from her and just write.
It is still hard to see Charlie in pain, as she sleeps, every so often she flinches, or wakes up from the pain, I am starting to wonder if she is experiencing a RA flare up on top of everything also.
They did resume her lidocaine, but it does take a few hours to start to work, you may wonder why she is in pain now ?
Since her last surgery on 1/25, they had to cover several small spots, but they needed a good amount of donor skin, that is where the pain comes from mostly, just imagine if you get a razor and shaves off 0.20 inches thickness of your skin, well Charlie had that done all over her upper arms , shoulders and chest, multiple times ,that is the main reason why she is in a lot of pain in addition to a possible RA flare up.
After a 3 hour nap , Charlie woke up and asked to watch a funny movie , so we watched the Permanent, we had such good laughs and by the end of the movie , Charlie was in such a better mood, it is absolutely true that laughing is the best medicine! Today I got to witness it first hand .
Tomorrow is a very big day for us, I am praying very hard that we get confirmation that there are no more CEA surgeries, and that she will be going to be discharged in the next 45 days or sooner God willing , I am doing my best to not become anxious , but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I felt anxious today.
It is hard to be reminded that even on our new and amazing life, there are a lot of things outside of our control, that sometimes things will not go the way we want or expected, but I will never forget how much we have learned , I now know that I can’t worry about things that I can’t control, I also know that God has never let us down, he will always raise us up no matter the challenge, today I have every reason to feel sad, upset and anxious.
But I am not going to end my day feeling like this, instead I am going to do my best to end and become grateful!
Charlie is alive and recovering! Thank you God! You saved her when she had only a 3% survival chance ! Yes! Miracles do exist!
I am healthy and my sons are healthy! Thank you God!
I have a roof over my family head ! We have food to eat ! Thank you God!
The list goes on and on, all we have to do is to take a minute and remember what we have , and slowly we can feel our heart and mind slow down, and the anxiety starts to melt away.
I am grateful to have this forum to express my feelings! I never in a million years would see myself writing, I am humbled by the impact my words have on so many people.
Thank you for your love and support and for praying for tomorrow OR visit.
May God Bless You !